magic conch shell should i start my homework


the conch has spoken

mom: who are you laughing with?
me: my laptop
me: im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
me: gets in bed
me: how was earth created
me: who made microwaves
me: how does the internet even work
me: i'm hungry
me: feels bad about something i did 4 years ago
me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
me: too tired to sleep


this time you’ve gone too far tumblr.

people: watch your language
me: oh shit sorry


i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word


as a serial killer my name would be the suspense so my victims would be like “oh no, the suspense is killing me” and we would both laugh right before i killed them